The tea’s name, “The Cake Is A Lie,” is a “Portal” reference. It’s a PlayStation game in which you use your wits to survive through a corrupt company’s testing facility. You’re told at the beginning that cake will be served at the end of your testing, but spray painted messages begin to pop up saying “the cake is a lie.” And it is. The company expects you to die, so why would it prepare a cake?
So it’s kind of fitting that I don’t think this tea quite tastes like cake. (A LIE. Though I think they meant it to taste like cake.)
I think it tastes like that delicious crunchy sugar-cream glaze one finds on cinnamon buns, danish, or glazed donuts. Which is ALSO delicious.
I don’t know if I oversteeped, but I also detected a sort of coffee tang here. Coffee is not one of the ingredients. It might be a note in the underlying black tea. Or it might just be in my head.
Because when I think donuts, I think donut shops. I think about how, when we were in elementary school, when it was your birthday, your mom typically purchased enough donuts or cupcakes for the whole class. They got distributed at lunch.
I’d always follow Mom into the coffee shop to procure those donuts. And it always reeked of coffee and cigarettes.
Yes, it used to be legal to smoke inside eating establishments. And some places were way worse than others.
Bars and donut shops were the absolute worst. Bars because the smell would mix with skunked beer. Donut shops because the old guys who sat around drinking coffee at the counter would smoke really low-end cigarettes which have a distinct smell.
Smelling vaguely like coffee and cheap cigarettes all day didn’t deter me from birthday joy, though. I’d have that donut with lunch, and cake with dinner.
So really, I guess the donuts and the cake aren’t that different. Was the cake a lie, after all?
Here’s the scoop!
Leaf Type: Black
Where to Buy: Geeky Teas
Description
Black tea, natural vanilla flavour, candy sprinkles, natural creme flavour and natural caramel flavour.
Learn even more about this tea and tea company here!
Chocolate Bon-Bon from Tin Roof Teas.. . . .
I didn’t know what a bon-bon was before tossing this tea into my travel bag on a trip. I sort of had an idea that it was something that pregnant people and lazy people ate. The phrase “sitting around eating bon-bons” was in my head.
Turns out bon-bons refer to chocolate-covered confections, or sweets in general. You’re welcome.
If I were pregnant, I would have to down bon-bons because I couldn’t drink black tea, this one specifically. This is a really yummy blend. It has a sweetness that stays in your mouth after you’ve swallowed. It’s got moxie. I might even describe it as “sassy.”
While I was drinking it, I drew a picture of a Cheshire Cat teacup. . . .
I think this tea would be a great accompaniment to a novel about tricky, morally ambiguous talking animals, etc. An adult sort of Alice in Wonderland meets Harry Potter, maybe like the Magicians, but with more mayhem. You should read the Magicians series, by the way. I’m not being paid by them to say that. It’d be a great reading pairing with this tea.
Here’s the scoop!
Leaf Type: Black
Where to Buy: Tin Roof Teas
Description
Our Bon Bon black tea, is a decadent, creamy sensation morning, noon or night.
Learn even more about this tea and tea company here!
Rose Water Shortbread from A Quarter To Tea. . . .
If I am being honest, this is probably the tea in April’s tea box that I was least excited about. I blame the Rose Water for that. When I think Rose Water, I think of sickly sweet desserts like baklava and gulab jamun. I don’t mean any offense as I know these are loved by many but they just aren’t for me and I thought the same might be said for this tea. Add to that the fact that I don’t really love white teas and you might get my hesitation here.
However, this tea came in the monthly box which means someone took the time to carefully craft this tea, testing it and perfecting it until they felt it was worthy enough to be sold. When a friend once commented at a restaurant how weird a dish on the menu sounded and questioned why anyone would eat it, my father said that chefs don’t just put things on their menus willy nilly but rather they partake in trial and error until they think they came up with something that is worth serving in their restaurant and if nothing else, it is worth a try. That stuck with me and I think about it whenever I’m at a restaurant but also I think that applies here. So even though these aren’t flavors I love, I know that Lauren at A Quarter to Tea would not be sending a tea she didn’t think was awesomely delicious so the least I could do is give it a taste.
Lucky for me I had enough sense not to try and pass this along without sampling it because as soon as I cut open the package I knew I was in for a treat. The smell of the dry leaf just filled the air!
This is one tasty, TASTY tea!! It’s like a rich and buttery graham cracker or maybe a shortbread with a slight cinnamon sugar glaze. Sweet but no where near sickly. Just smooth. Sugary. Baked goods. Deliciousness. It took me by surprise but now that I have tried it, I can say with confidence I will be having this again.
Here’s the scoop!
Leaf Type: White
Where to Buy: A Quarter To Tea
Description
Sweetly floral white tea with vanilla, butter and a touch of cinnamon.
Learn even more about this tea and tea company here!
The Malt Shop Collection from DAVIDsTEA. . . . .
Each season DAVIDsTEA premieres a new collection of about five teas. Sometimes there may be a returning favorite but most of the blends are new and exciting. Lately though, DAVIDs has been treating their customers to mini collections, released almost monthly to keep their selection fresh and intriguing. This month, in addition to the Valentine’s teas, they brought us The Malt Shop Collection, featuring three ice-cream inspired teas and ice cream teaware. Now I am a sucker for all things ice cream and cupcakes and milkshakes and the like so you can bet your a$$ I was in the shop the minute I could step away from the office.
As far as the three blends go, Mint Chip Sundae was the blend I was least excited about, since I am just not one for mint chip ice cream and chocolate mint teas just seem so overdone. This one is made with cocoa nibs, green tea, peppermint, white chocolate, cocoa powder and stevia. Scentwise, this is a whole lotta mint with a faint note of dusty chocolate. It brews up muddied from the cocoa nibs and cocoa powder settling at the bottom. When it comes to taste, this is creamy and minty, but the stevia just takes over and coats your whole mouth. For those that don’t mind stevia and are looking for a creamy mint chocolate tea, this could be a nice choice but if you’re anything like me, the stevia here will be a deal breaker.
Vanilla Swirl, made with lemongrass, pineapple, white chocolate, globe amaranth, cornflower, and stevia, is definitely the prettiest of the three blends with the pink and blue flower petals sprinkled among the white chocolate curls on the lemongrass base. The tea smells of artificial vanilla extract and herbs and brews up a light gold color. Again the stevia is a deal breaker for me but I will say it is not as bad as in the Mint Chip Sundae. Looking past the stevia though, there is a silky vanilla quality contrasted by the hint of lemon that acts as the foundation here. Does it taste like vanilla ice cream? Not really but there is potential here for a nice nighttime treat.
Strawberry Shake was the blend I was most excited about, not because of the tea itself perse, but because I am basically obsessed with strawberry milkshakes. There is even one restaurant that can recognize a delivery order as my family’s because I ALWAYS get the strawberry milkshake. This tea, made with green tea, strawberries, papaya, and yogurt, smells like candy – sweet but artificial. It brews up a light yellow and it tastes like a strawberry milkshake…sorta. The strawberry syrup element is captured nicely but muted slightly by the green tea base. Though the base doesn’t impart much flavor, which is a plus in my book. All in all, I am enjoying this creamy delight but this is the one time I think it is maybe too subtle. DAVIDsTEA is normally heavy handed with flavoring to the point that it is just too much but here, where the flavor should be over-the-top, it is way too subdued and borderline bland.
As an added bonus, I also grabbed the Strawberry Shake Tea-Infused White Chocolate Bar. Opening the package, what immediately took me by surprise is the green hue making it very clear that bits of the tea have definitely made it into this bar. Unfortunately, that doesn’t really come through in the taste. White chocolate is pretty much all I am tasting with just a touch of candy strawberry flavor.
All in all, I would say this is a fun collection. For me, I might go back for my Strawberry Shake tea but DAVIDs need to pre-sweeten everything with stevia is such a turnoff for me. Consequently, Mint Chip Sundae and Vanilla Swirl were misses in my book.
Here’s the scoop!
Leaf Type: Various
Where to Buy: DAVIDsTEA
Description
A collection of three sweetly nostalgic, malt shop-inspired teas.
Learn even more about this tea and tea company here!
Summer Sangria (Now Champagne Sangria) from The NecessiTeas
I’ve been saddened by so many teas claiming to mimic a favorite food, then failing. But not here! This tea is a WINNER!
This blend, originally called “Summer Sangria” and now titled “Champagne Sangria,” is made of white tea, orange peel, blackberries, red cornflower petals, marigold petals, natural and organic flavors.
I tried this tea chilled, and found it delightful. There’s something in here that really does taste like wine. This is 100% a sangria — minus the headache!*
* Am I the only one here who takes one sip of wine, gets a headache, and falls fast asleep on someone’s couch?
What a sweet little champion. This one’s going on my wish list for this summer…
… If summer ever comes. This tea is totally rubbing it in that there are times of the year that are better.
I have no idea what Punxsutawney Phil said this year, but I’m still holding him solely responsible for this dreary Pennsylvania weather.
Here’s the scoop!
Leaf Type: White
Where to Buy: The NecessiTeas
Description
Enjoy a unique champagne-based sangria with light citrus and sweet fruit notes of cherry, blackberry and orange that will captivate you, and then the undertones of the bubbly will linger on the tongue with a mellow acidity. It will “tea”se you with the taste of a white wine sangria on a summer’s day.
Learn even more about this tea and tea company here!